June 10th, 2016 was our 16th wedding anniversary. It was also the day the packed up what we hadn’t gotten rid of, our two youngest children and headed to the mission field.
We left a lot behind. The only home we had lived in as a married couple, the one all of our kids were raised and being raised in, our parents, our three oldest kids, our two small granddaughters, almost every friend we had…the list of loss is long. We didn’t really feel it at the time.
In the moment it was pure adrenaline. The excitement of our dreams coming true combined with having friends and family with us, helping us move was fun! Two days after settling into our apartment, our family and friends left and then the mission teams came and we were so busy there wasn’t time to think about anything other than what was happening on a given day and who was in charge of making sure our kids were fed, alive and still on the property. Busy was an understatement.
We all survived summer, mostly. Little did we know God was about to shake us up to the very core. Shortly after summer the hard reality of leaving it all behind, living in a place that’s not our home, having new jobs and roles and a slew of other things (including the kids melting down because reality was hitting them too) and it was ugly. It came out in different ways for all of us. Crying, silence, withdrawal, rebellion, anger…almost in every way you can imagine it came pouring out of at least one of us – usually all of us in different ways all at the same time.
I’m sure our friends here, the ones I wasn’t crying to for hours a day (you know who you are!) saw it too. The struggle was clear: our family was breaking down from the inside out. Our marriage was a wreck, we were struggling in our new roles, the kids just wanted to go home and it was a mess.
But. But God. But God has a way. A way of working after all you guards are down, all your dreams are in a pile of tears and you feel lost. He just knows exactly what’s needed and it always seems that we take the hardest route to get to it. He stepped in when we sat down in defeat and saved. Saved our dreams, saved our marriage, saved our family.
A year later we have finally hit our stride. I am doing what I love, what I’m good at, being stretched to do the things that God wants me to do & loving Him more than I ever have. I can’t speak for the rest of my family but what I see is good. Jeremy is leading & loving us like never before, Jace is growing into his new life with new ideas and dreams and Ryan is stepping into the leadership qualities God has given him. It is good.
God is good. Life is good. Mexico is good. We have all made friendships that are growing stronger every day. We are closer as a family than we have ever been and most importantly, loving and learning more about God than we ever have! If you have prayed for us, thank you. If you haven’t, please start! There are still lots of things pending: I’m teaching a Women’s Bible Study at our church, we aren’t sure what the boys will do for school in the fall, Jeremy is feeling a tug in ministry and our general health & safety is always on our prayer list!
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